Wow. I cannot believe what a fantastic procrastinator I have become. Just in the past three days alone, I have been amazingly productive – at everything except writing this blog. I have cleaned the kitchen three times, swept the house twice, cooked countless meals (countless because I lost track of how many), run the treadmill twice, walked the dog a few dozen times, done umpteen loads of laundry, wrote a handful of e-mails, finished a novel, and started my Christmas shopping (ack!) by buying Mike and myself a set of Moose mugs, featuring photos of this guy:
In addition, I did a little online research, chauffeured Scout to school, did the grocery shopping, helped Mike with a car project, and pulled up all the carrots in the garden. I even broke out the Cathe Friedrich step aerobics workout DVD that I haven’t done in years. I have been the Queen of Busy-ness.
Do you ever feel that life is busy-ness? That it’s a collection of things we do from moment to moment, without inspiration or the appearance of meaning? I hope so, because that means I’m not crazy or, at any rate, no more crazy than you. One of my all-time favorite musicians, Stuart Adamson, once wrote the lyric, “There’s only seconds of your life that really count for anything. All the rest is killing time, waiting for a train.” Depressing? Maybe. He did quite tragically kill himself in 2011, perhaps in part because of thoughts like these. Is this true for most people? I think so, not because the moments that really count aren’t there, but because they go unnoticed. People feel like they are just killing time waiting for that inspiration, that motivation, that train – that something to make them feel alive and on purpose. In truth, perhaps it’s all just the fabric of life, waiting for us to pay attention.
I know I could have a black belt in Procrastination if it were a martial art and, yes, some things I do are quite meaningless in the grand scheme of things. However, not everything I’ve done in the name of Procrastination has been killing time. In some cases, I’ve been optimizing it. Those countless meals, some are for the week ahead so I don’t have to cook after a long day at work. Gardening and walking the dog are both necessary, good for body and soul. And, hey, Christmas shopping started in September. Hey-o!
So what if it’s the eleventh hour on a Sunday afternoon and I’m just now getting to the blog I meant to write on Friday? I’m proud of what I have done this weekend. It can look a lot like Procrastination and killing time if I frame it just so, but maybe it’s really been just…living.
And isn’t living why we’re all here?